Step 1:Personal Growth

I am not comfortable in my own skin, and I hate it. I never realized what people went through when they had body dysmorphia, but I am finally realizing what that meant. I have never been someone who looks down upon themselves when looking in the mirror, but for some odd reason, I am starting to do just that. I have grown up an athlete all my life and being active just comes second nature to me. I just recently became an ex-athlete and am no longer a part of an athletic team. That is starting to take a toll on me. I didn't realize how much I needed to be on a team until I was no longer a part of one. The accountability I had was stripped away and I don't know where to go now. When I was an athlete, I could eat whatever I wanted and not feel terribly bad about it because I knew I would burn off those extra calories at practice or whatever fitness task I had that next day. But what about now? I don't have that extra buffer to knock away those calories so what happens now? I am someone who has little control when it comes to food. I don't know if it is how my brain is wired or what but I have a hard time saying no. This kills me. I see my friends resisting food all the time and then there's me getting seconds and thirds. I feel silly talking about this and seeing my type this but it is truly how I feel. I want to change for the better and I want to create a healthier more energetic side of myself. I don't want this to just be temporary...I want this to last forever. In order to start my new journey, I have joined the community Noom and I will be communicating with different coaches and groups to keep me accountable for my actions. I think this will help me a lot in my new journey because it will allow me to have a sense of being on a team again. I am willing to cut out certain things in my life and change for the better. I know that this is going to be hard and I know there are going to be some rough days ahead, but I am willing to take on the challenge. I know that by me doing this, it will help me in the long run. This is my first post about the new journey I am willing to embark on. Cheers.


P.S.
I have a family event this weekend that includes a lot of different foods that necessarily aren't the healthiest, so this will be my first challenge of my journey to see if I am enough will-power to withstand from overeating. I'll fill you guys in with more details after the weekend.